What we need
I wanted to share my own experience that was a little bit of a grounding moment for me this week and really was the inspiration for this post. As I have mentioned in a recent post, I have been running on empty for a while as we approach the tail end of the year. A lot of people are in the same boat. Working all year, kids' sports commitments and what seems to be a cold snap of weather that is never ending, our first full year with no lockdowns or having to stay home has been exhausting for a lot of people. Many have re-evaluated what they want in life with some changing jobs or making a decision after many years to put themselves first. It is certainly something I have dreamed about doing too and perhaps one day I will be in a position to do so. Instead, however, I have been working flat chat and between working and running the kids around to sports and just doing adult things, I haven't really had a lot of time to do the spooky stuff that makes my heart sing and it does make me a little sad.
This week in particular started quite dramatically and with me in tears. Waking up on a Monday is always quite difficult and I was already quite tired and sadly had a bad night with my chronic pain so I wasn't feeling great. I had put myself to bed early the night before so I wasn't as organised as I would normally be with lunches already packed or uniforms laid out so I was in a bit of a rush. The boys also don't make it easy on Monday and one of them is quite difficult to get out of bed on a normal day so it makes the mornings quite frustrating. I also knew we had sporting commitments after school, so I had to organise uniforms and snacks. So now that was all done, I was ready to get the kids off to school and myself off to work. My youngest son had returned from school camp a few days prior and had a bit of a tough time with the separation (another ramification from covid lockdowns) and on Monday morning, he was not wanting to go to school, he wanted to be with me his mum. His bottom lip was going and his eyes filling with tears. It broke my heart but I knew once he got inside he would be fine (and it was he had a great day) it meant I was then on my way to work upset and worried about him and just feeling quite a bit of Mum guilt that I had to rush him off so I could get to work.
As I went to work, the traffic was heavier than usual making me more frazzled and to top it off, I had forgotten there was a local event nearby which meant that there was absolutely no parking available anywhere near work. I drove around for about 15 minutes worried that I was now late and unable to get to a car park. I managed to find a makeshift park and called my husband who I work with to open a gate so I could get the car in there. Just before he got there I found a very small space in the car park that I managed to just fit my car into as he approached. Phew, it was over and I was ready to start the day albeit a bit stressed out and frazzled. I took off the prescription sunglasses that I wear to put on my glasses which I need to wear all the time to be able to see and avoid migraines, except they weren't there. In the rush, I had put the glasses in my sunglasses case and instead of putting them in the car, I put them on the bench. I was now at work ready to start the day sitting in front of a computer and I need glasses to be able to see without my glasses. Well, this was the straw that broke the camel's back and I burst into tears. It had been a culmination building from running around every single day and on this day, nothing was going my way. As I walked inside, I realised I could use my sunglasses and just look a bit strange, but they are polarized and I couldn't see anything on my monitor, no matter what I did with the settings. It is here I am lucky to have such a lovely husband who drove home got my glasses, cleaned up from the morning so I wouldn't have to when I got home and just gave me what I needed the most, a hug.
Image Source: Building Beautiful Souls
It was next something strange happened. As you know I am quite enthusiastic about tarot. I collect cards and I am very slowly learning to read, just for myself. At the beginning of each week, a mailing list sends me a card and its meaning and how it will apply to my week. It is just a random card that is drawn and the meaning is quite vague meaning it can literally apply to anything and anyone if you want it to. This particular card was the King of Cups with the message being a reminder to stay in control of my emotions no matter how stressful things get. I mean could I get a more appropriate card at that exact moment? Some would call it synchronicity and the universe sending a powerful message. Others would say it is a generic message that I am moulding to fit my situation - much like the Barnum Effect. Honestly, at that particular moment, I didn't care if it was something otherworldly or if it was just a coincidence, it was what I really needed. It made me reflect and sit down and tell myself not to let my emotions get the better of me. It actually gave me a bit of a smile and maybe even confirmed for me why I like working with tarot so much. For me it is never about telling the future or communicating with spirits about situations, for me it is just a way to reflect.
It made me think about the paranormal and experiences and things in general. We can sit and argue until we are blue in the face if something is paranormal or if we are just making something out of nothing. What we aren't necessarily addressing is the why. People often have experiences that they find comforting or that they feel have a purpose or a reason. In fact, psychologists often state that such experiences can be an essential part of the grieving process. Whether or not spirits know we need them or if our brain thinks we just need some extra comfort, the fact remains that no matter what the cause is, we are somehow getting what we need at that time and it is those occasions where we maybe we don't need to understand it, we need to just embrace it because we need it!
Cover Image Photo by Alina Vilchenko: https://www.pexels.com/photo/assorted-tarot-cards-on-table-3088369/
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