New years is full of reflection and resolutions. On the days leading up to New Years, we tend to reflect on the year that was. A lot of people including myself love posting this reflection on social media. I love reading them because in a lot of ways it makes me realise that I wasn't alone. No one is perfect and no one had a perfect year. People will have had personal challenges to overcome (some more so than others), they most likely lost friends and gained friends, and they also had celebratory moments as well. A resolution is then made about what they want to do differently in the year ahead and what their personal goals. Aside from the usual 'Im going to join a gym or stop smoking' kind of posts, you can usually see a glimpse of what it is their heart truely wants. Often though, you don't see much written about the paranormal field.
This may be confrontational, unexpected and uncomfortable, but you need to ask yourself ....... are you happy in the paranormal field? Over time we have all had our moments where we think about throwing it and leaving. All the BS gets overwhelming and there are times and you think 'hey why bother?'. The problem is that you are just so passionate and you love it so much that you can't imagine your life without it. So you put up with the BS, keep to yourself and keep on keeping on. There are however some people that really don't love it anymore. Attending an investigation is forced for them. They almost dread it and find ways to get out of it. When they are at an investigation, they aren't as into it as the others and may even be quiet and seem like they would rather be somewhere else. Their research is almost non existent because quite frankly, their heart just isn't in it anymore. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. Maybe this is a sign to call time on your paranormal journey. If it isn't fun anymore, then why do it? I mean think about it. You spend a lot of money and all of your free personal time on the paranormal. If you don't love it, it becomes just another job. This time however it is not a job you have to have to support your family and bring home the bacon to pay rent or the mortgage. It is a choice. You don't have to be there. Maybe you are afraid of letting down other members of your team if you are a part of a team or maybe you just don't know how to get out of it. This is all OK. If you don't want to do it anymore, then the beginning of 2019 is a great place to cut the cord. Maybe instead of leaving take a few months off instead of calling the quits for good. Maybe look at cutting back on your commitments so you can have more of a balance if it is taking up too much time. In the time that you are away, you will quickly learn if you miss it or if it is something you can happily do without. If you don't want to do the paranormal anymore, that is OK. Be honest with your friends and team mates. They will appreciate your honesty and probably they will see it coming. Nothing can demoralise a team more than having someone there that doesn't want to be there. We can tell when someone just isn't feeling it anymore and as much as you may not want to be there, your team probably doesn't want you there either if you are not really 'there'.
At the beginning of 2018, I was in a very unhappy place where I was in the paranormal. I too had thought about leaving. The problem was that I couldn't leave. I loved it way too much. It was more my situation that I didn't love. I had an amazing run as a part of a paranormal team and we had the privilege of getting exclusive access to locations and hosting a lot of 'first time ever' events. While this was great, it didn't light my fire. I wanted to be more than just a host of investigations. I wanted to go back to actual investigating, working with experiments and really diving into research. In a lot of ways as a blogger I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was talking the talk but not walking the walk. That is what I wanted to change in 2018 so i did. It was uncomfortable and it was scary but I looked at what I wanted from the paranormal field and how I could be happy and I went with it. I decided the only events I would host would be at Black Rock House and I would attend investigations all over Melbourne, I would use the access I had with Black Rock House to work with my research and the experiments I wanted to try, I visited locations I wanted to whenever I wanted without having to wait for a whole team to be available. It is a mix that just worked well for me.
Why am I telling you all of this? I am entering 2019 with a fresh excitement and renewed energy for the field. 2018 was a time for self discovery and putting me onto the path I am now. I encourage you to reflect on your time in the paranormal. How you are spending your time and who you are spending it with. Is there anything you want to change? Be honest and talk to your friends and team mates. Separate yourself from BS and just have conversations with people. Life is too short to spend so much doing something if you don't enjoy doing it. In this case you really have 2 choices. Make changes so that you do enjoy it again or walk away. As someone that works in a lot of schools, sometimes you come across teachers who have been teachers for quite a number of years. You can see that they don't have the same enthusiasm as someone who is newer. They can be grumpy, snappy and disillusioned. A lot of them don't want to be teachers anymore, but it is all they know how to do and it is just easier for them to stay than leave. It is like that in many workplaces. I think we all know at least that one person that hates their job and lets everyone at work know it. The same can be said of the paranormal field. Don't be that person that just hates everyone and everything. Instead of researching and enjoying your paranormal work, you can become that person that just criticises everyone and everything in the field. We don't like that person. You don't like that person, so don't be that person.
Reflection is tough because it makes us realise things about ourselves that we need to change. Whether it is change within ourselves or our situations, it makes us feel uncomfortable. No one likes change. While you dedicate your resolutions to things like getting fit and trying to be more social etc, have a quick look at your place in the field. Are you looking at the year ahead excited and ready for your next investigation or are you thinking 'oh god I don't know if I can take another year of this'. We of all people as paranormal investigators know life is too short. Do what makes YOU happy. Not someone else. It is really easy to get stuck in a situation when you have confident personalities around you that take charge. Suddenly you may feel you no longer have a voice and that everything you do seems to be what they want. Find your voice. This is YOUR journey. You have to enjoy it. Let them enjoy their journey too, but not at your expense. In a discussion completely unrelated to the paranromal I had the other day, a point was raised. 'There is a difference to be nice and being taken advantage of'. While it is easier to be nice to avoid making someone unhappy, don't let them or the situation take advantage of you. Find your voice.
While there can be a lot of moan about when it comes to the paranormal field, you obviously started for a reason. Look back and find that reason find that spark. Nothing lasts forever and era come to an end. It is a fact of life. The field will always be changing and so will your place within it. Just make sure that YOU are happy. With that being said, I am excited for 2019 and the potential ahead. I hope you will continue to join me and share your adventures that make up this wonderful field. Happy New Year and 2019 is our year!!!
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